Update

Ultrasound at 36 weeks - two weeks ago...

(She looks scrunched, doesn't she? I'm putting up an eviction notice soon.)

I'm starting to field the emails now, so I see I need to add an update to this blog. The doctor says I'm still pregnant. The torso grows ever-massive... but no.. no baby. Not yet. She's bound to keep us waiting.

These are the lessons I'm learning from Emma:

1. No child is the same. And just because one baby comes early, does NOT mean they all will. The ladies/moms have been telling me this since day one around here. Prior to this week, I thought I was solidly aware of this fact. But it's been reinforced in my head as there is no sign of Emma's impending arrival. Jack came early, and I was happy as a clam to see him. Emma has watched the deadline for Jack's gestational term come and go. In fact, I think I can feel her thumbs twiddling and feel the vibration of her giggles as she waits it out, warm and cozy. She seems quite comfortable with protruding elbows and knees sometimes causing my abdomen to appear deformed and lopsided at times. Come on, girl. It's surely getting crowded in there. Let's get this show on the road.

2. Old wives' tales are a bunch of hullabaloo: Treadmills/brisk walks don't work. Spicy food does not bring on labor. A little dilation doesn't mean a darn thing. And alternating between scolding and begging a baby while she's inside your womb is pointless.

3. Anxious siblings can't really help. No matter the amount of conviction in Jack's voice, his pointing of a light-up wand at my stomach and chanting, "Abracadabra... Come out, Emma!" is cute but not really substantial.

4. Births during full moons are purely coincidental. The moon is now waning and I'm still having to roll out of bed in the mornings.

I'll keep you posted.

Big Whitney

Marathon!

Jim participated in the Bass Pro Shops Outdoor Fitness Festival Marathon yesterday here in Springfield. Translation: Jim is crazy. It's okay to shake your head with me. He won't see.

Despite my realization that I've gone and married a slightly deranged person, I won't hide a hefty amount of pride here too. He ran for four hours and 1 minute, and he still looked pretty strong at the end. He was slightly immobile and definitely requiring me to drive the truck home, but he did this thing. A marathon! Don't get the story from Jim, because he'll relay it while kicking the dirt about the extra one minute that put him over his "sub four hour" goal. Get the story from me and we can, together, totally bypass his downplaying of the accomplishment. He RAN for FOUR HOURS and ONE MINUTE! Woah. Just typing the sentence wears me out.

Here are a few less-than-great pictures. My job was hat-holder, energy gel passer, and chapstick stand-by person. Breathtaking photography sometimes gets sacrificed.

Jack and Grammie watch for any sign of Daddy rounding the corner

Here he comes!

There he goes!

Halloween's Almost Here!

The little boy who lives at our house is excited about Halloween! In anticipation of the event, he has asked, "When are we going to carve our pumpkin?" for the last three weeks. And occasionally, he bargains to wear his Halloween costume around the house for "just a few minutes." A few minutes is apparently long enough to curb some of the agony in waiting for the actual day to arrive.

But at last... the waiting is almost over. We carved the jack-o-lantern on Friday! (I say "we", but really, it was totally a Mom and Dad event. Jack refuses to touch, or even get near, any of the gooey insides of the pumpkin each year. It's "gross." Oh brother.)

Here's a little something to curb your agony in waiting. Pictures!

Tarantula Tuesday

What bigtime, yet strangely ordinary, news spreads through an entire school building faster than does the flu? Any phrase that sounds even remotely close to "TARANTULA ON THE PLAYGROUND!"

So, a bit of Missouri trivia... did you know that tarantulas are native to the state? I didn't. I've spent the majority of my life here, and I had no clue about this fact. I thought I was living on the edge of danger just dealing with rumors of scorpions and the recent influx of those blasted migratory Japanese beetles. During my Florida days, it was impossible to be unaware of the inflated palmetto bug (a.k.a. fluttering-from-the-trees, big toe-sized cockroach) population. But tarantulas in Missouri? I am shocked.

Apparently, it is common knowledge. Grandpa reports having had a mother (infested with catch-a-ride babies) in his backyard workshop. The school custodian reports that they can jump up to three feet, and he remembers them being a commonplace nuisance at his childhood ball field. A student's parent says, "Oh yeah! I dodged one in the middle of the road while riding my bicycle the other day." Even my own son belittles me, "Moooom. They HAVE eight legs." (His two cents were slightly less impactful, true.)

Whaaa? Where have I been? I don't hide my dismay at these reports, and in return, I get this shocked and then immediately consoling look like, "You didn't know? Whitneeey.... it's okay that you're an idiot." Hmph... Tarantulas are odd and scary, and certainly odd/scary for Missouri. If one was crawling across your kitchen tile, would you yawn? I don't think so.

The "TARANTULA ON THE PLAYGROUND!" gossip was like wildfire through the hallways. I caught wind of it at lunchtime as three teachers could barely get out the words in all the excitement. (On a side note, if everybody was SO aware of this "tarantulas in MO" business... why the hub-bub, people?)

Apparently, it went down like this. The tarantula was spotted on the concrete just outside the playground doors.... you know, local hang out spot for your everyday Ozarks tarantula. The kids freaked. I don't know why. We have ladybugs too... they don't send anybody into a frenzy. C'mon. The principal then came out to catch it. There was some squealing.

In the end, the capture was successful. The beast is now caged in a transparent "bug box" and is scheduled for a tour of each classroom, one by one, so that we may marvel. Oddly enough, some students in my classroom will not remove their jacket hoods from their heads.

This is sooo normal.

I Don't Know What To Say...

What clever words can I write down beside the following link? There are none. Jim made me this as an anniversary present. He has been working on it for hours, and hours, and hours over the past month.

And still, the morning after its unveiling (during which he sat me down in front of our livingroom DVD player) I remain numb, tearjerked, and appreciatively quiet. You will understand when you watch. (Approximately 13 minutes long with accompanying sound... Password: hoodenpyle)

Alright then, judge the book. Whatever...

Notice the two children above. Elementary school teachers (not me, of course, but my colleagues) are sometimes guilty of "photo previewing" regarding their students. This happens in the summertime when one receives his or her list of students. You grab last year's yearbook and see what faces match these names you've just been handed. Some look like angels. You want to pinch their cheeks and scoop them up right then and there. "Oh! Now he/she looks sweet. I bet they're a good kid. Look at the smile." But just as you have these, you see some faces that fill you with a foreboding feeling. Hair covering the eyes, hunched posture, mohawks, excessive chainwear, an almost visible stamping of the word "HYPER" across the forehead, any type of snarling... all of these make you wonder. Is this kid going to make, or break, my year?

Now that's not to say that first impressions can't be wrong. There is a saying, "Don't judge a book..." So yeah, photo previewing is nothing more than a superstitious act that has minimal chances of actually producing accurate information. But still.... my colleagues do it. Not me, of course, though.

Anyway, in comparing the two children above, one would be an angel. One would be deemed a "possible turkey". Because I don't believe in the labeling, I'll not participate in this ritual of yours. But you go on ahead. You're wasting your time, you know.

Hodge Podge Entry

I'm a little bit all over the place in my conversation today. You'll see what I mean. Maybe it's because I'm the only company I have, and my mind is wandering. Jim is off in Joplin riding the MS 150, Jack is at Grandma's, and I'm grading papers to music. Speaking of music...

When I'm alone and relaxing, I find myself cranking the radio or picking up the mp3 player. It's a habit. A natural thing happens next... a retreat back into Whitney. The week has been busy, but I've discovered that when the music of my choosing plays, I go off someplace and feel instantly more like myself, regaining what the week may have stripped of me. I can grade papers mindlessly, but my head seems to travel. In this way, I still can turn into the teenager that closes her door and plays her music reclusively. But anyway... how am I feeling today? Where's my head going? Like I said, all over the place. My favorite artists today:

1. Ben Folds

I didn't really know what I was missing with these guys until a summer concert (in which they were the special guest opener) made me more familiar with their music. These are the people you were friends with back in high school or college - your eccentric, opinionated, charismatic, and hilarious little circle of comfort. (I feel very affectionate about my own little high school/college circle in Tallahassee. I even ponder Jim's college gang... his band of guy friends felt much like mine. Consequently, I wonder if everyone has this "so odd they're cool" collection of friends at a certain point in their lives.)

Anyway, Ben Folds was number one on my list this weekend. Their self-proclaimed "piano rock" is satirical, smart, and intensely musical. They were most entertaining live in concert, and now that I've returned to them this weekend, they are just as fun. Note: They use profanity generously from time to time, but you get past it when you realize that it comes from somewhere intelligent and efficiently delivers just the right sarcastic message. On my songlist: All You Can Eat, Gone, Bitches Ain't Right, Trusted, Landed, Bastard. There is a funny concert story about one of these foul language loaded songs and the fast-handed interpreter for the hearing-impaired, stage-right that did her job with gusto. Perhaps the song was selected on purpose by these guys that night. Pure speculation. But in any case, they really DO have sign language gestures for all words, it seems.

2. a blend of Colbie Callait, Corinne Bailey Rae, and Jack Johnson

Why a blend? Because my brain categorizes them collectively into one file as they all make me feel the same way... quiet and thoughtful. On my songlist: Bubbly, Like a Star, Till It Happens To You, Questions

3. White Stripes

I'll speak truthfully and say that, ordinarily, I despise this group and all the music it produces. However, there is one song that makes me smile: We're Going To Be Friends.
This song has a perfect back to school, autumny feel to it. (It was "that song" from Napoleon Dynamite also, but that's beside the point.) It's a sweet little song if you really listen to the words. In fact, I'm chuckling as I'm listening to it now and grading papers. The song reminds me of my favorite "type" of kid to have in class. Today, it's Taylor, a good little boy who's quiet, but not too quiet. He apparently has a special sense of humor and knows to share it only at the perfect moment so that you have no choice other than to appreciate it so much more. On a worksheet where he is required to complete the sentence with simply a noun, he says:

Some students played a game of "toss the propane tank out of the window." (I'm laughing so hard that I can't breathe.) Of course, he just needed a noun, so I'll speak to him Monday...

Other thoughts:

I believe I should be getting some royalties from the game, "Twister Scram." Seriously, Milton Bradley owes me some money. I believe that I invented this game on Gelven street in my front yard when I was nine. The only difference was that I used my collection of a gazillion pom-poms rather than the colored Twister circles. On someone's mark, we'd have to "scram" to another colored pom-pom... for an added challenge, you needed to reach a certain color to be safe. Now, I've not checked the EXACT rules of Twister Scram, but the picture on the box leads me to believe that I was onto something. Come on, Mom. Surely you watched out the front window back then and can back me up here..

Additional News:

I have a new car! I've never had a new car before, so this is a big deal. I enjoy the new car smell that doesn't come from a spray at the local car wash. It naturally smells dreamy, clean, and luxurious. My Jeep was going down the drain, so we've purchased a Ford Escape. It's similar in size and shape. When I get a moment, I'll post a picture of mine. For now, a dealer's picture will have to do.