What bigtime, yet strangely ordinary, news spreads through an entire school building faster than does the flu? Any phrase that sounds even remotely close to "TARANTULA ON THE PLAYGROUND!"
So, a bit of Missouri trivia... did you know that tarantulas are native to the state? I didn't. I've spent the majority of my life here, and I had no clue about this fact. I thought I was living on the edge of danger just dealing with rumors of scorpions and the recent influx of those blasted migratory Japanese beetles. During my Florida days, it was impossible to be unaware of the inflated palmetto bug (a.k.a. fluttering-from-the-trees, big toe-sized cockroach) population. But tarantulas in Missouri? I am shocked.
Apparently, it is common knowledge. Grandpa reports having had a mother (infested with catch-a-ride babies) in his backyard workshop. The school custodian reports that they can jump up to three feet, and he remembers them being a commonplace nuisance at his childhood ball field. A student's parent says, "Oh yeah! I dodged one in the middle of the road while riding my bicycle the other day." Even my own son belittles me, "Moooom. They HAVE eight legs." (His two cents were slightly less impactful, true.)
Whaaa? Where have I been? I don't hide my dismay at these reports, and in return, I get this shocked and then immediately consoling look like, "You didn't know? Whitneeey.... it's okay that you're an idiot." Hmph... Tarantulas are odd and scary, and certainly odd/scary for Missouri. If one was crawling across your kitchen tile, would you yawn? I don't think so.
The "TARANTULA ON THE PLAYGROUND!" gossip was like wildfire through the hallways. I caught wind of it at lunchtime as three teachers could barely get out the words in all the excitement. (On a side note, if everybody was SO aware of this "tarantulas in MO" business... why the hub-bub, people?)
Apparently, it went down like this. The tarantula was spotted on the concrete just outside the playground doors.... you know, local hang out spot for your everyday Ozarks tarantula. The kids freaked. I don't know why. We have ladybugs too... they don't send anybody into a frenzy. C'mon. The principal then came out to catch it. There was some squealing.
In the end, the capture was successful. The beast is now caged in a transparent "bug box" and is scheduled for a tour of each classroom, one by one, so that we may marvel. Oddly enough, some students in my classroom will not remove their jacket hoods from their heads.
This is sooo normal.
