Sorry, Mom

I'd like to issue a formal apology to my mother regarding my last blog entry. I am going to think back reaaaally hard to those tooth-pulling days and use my imagination...

I bet my mom wasn't a sneaky tooth puller. I bet she was merciful. I bet she was asked to tie the dental floss around her child's tooth once. I bet that happened when the child was feeling brave. And I bet her child chickened out and didn't feel so brave and said, "No, I don't want to do the dental floss after all, Mom." But the knot had already been tied. And she knew that fiddling with the floss, trying to get it off of the dangling tooth, would've just been more painful than yanking the darn thing. I bet she watched her child half heartedly tug on the string with no success, himself... I mean, herself. I bet she patiently watched while the child became more fidgety with nervousness. I bet she wanted to put her child out of the nervous misery, and so she tried a pep talk. "Remember the other night when it was so easy? And it didn't hurt... but for just a split second? Remember how you were so brave?" I bet the pep talk didn't work.

And so then, I bet she said, "Okay, I'll try to get the dental floss off." And then she had to trick the child. And I bet it was painful to trick her baby. I bet it hurt her heart a lot. I bet she felt awful when the child, on the other side of the tooth pulling, asked, "Mom, WHHHYYYY did you do that?" I bet she wanted to cry at the momentary loss of trust, however fleeting the loss was. And I bet she had to eat her words about not being tricky with dental floss.

Love you, Mom.

Get The Dental Floss

Jack has lost his third tooth. This third tooth proved to be a stubborn one. It did not cooperate with Jack's preferred and standard mode of extraction. He has worked on the wiggly thing for weeks now. But it just would NOT come out.

Today brought a new dilemma, however, regarding the tooth. Jack had worked it to the point of dangling. But then, with the arrival of bedtime, Jack developed a worry. "What if he swallowed it in his sleep?" Yes, this thought was his breaking point. Something had to be done.

"Mom, will you go and get the dental floss?"

My jaw hit the floor. When I was little, the thought of dental floss anywhere NEAR my loose teeth brought on an instantaneous case of sweaty palms and jittery knees. I knew my mom could not be trusted. I learned that after only one go round of "WAIT, MOM! I'M NOT READY!!!! I'M NOT...."

(It was always too late, by that point. My mom was fast. And worse, my mom was very, very sneaky.)

So, at Jack's request for the dreaded floss, I tried to keep my shock hidden and instead show a convincing case of calm. I tied the floss around the dangly member, being sure to say, "I WILL NOT pull this until you are ready, Jack."

After a deep breath and a nod from Jack, we counted to three and it was over.

(By the way, it was fast, and it was totally not sneaky. I'm just sayin', Mom....)

Mad Gab with Emma

Have you ever played Mad Gab before? It's a fun game where partners compete to quickly decode mystery phrases. I say decode because the phrases, although they are usually very well-known, are sometimes TERRIBLY hard to understand. Maybe I can explain better with examples:

What are these mystery phrases? It's not really about what you say. It's about what you hear.

A) Abe Seize Ease Supports (hint: television)
B) Bay Beak Hot Bach (hint: of a man who stirs frequently)
C) Eye Needle Axe Eight If (hint: go to Walgreens)
D) Went Hurl Hymn Pick Aims (hint: February)
E) Woodchuck Air Ford Us Hurt (hint: heck yes)

(Answers will be in the comments later if this is the type of thing that will drive you berserk without closure.)

Living with Emma sometimes reminds me of playing Mad Gab.