Christmas 2010

I hope you all had a very merry Christmas! We sure did!

Christmas time makes for interesting conversations at our house. Here are a few excerpts:

Jack: HO! HO! HO! I'm Santa Claus!
Emma: HO! HO! HO! Jack, I'm Mrs. Claus!
Jack: Umm, no, Emma. You can't be Mrs. Claus. Mrs. Claus is gentle.

___

Emma: (milling through the pantry) Mom! I'm hungry. Can I have candy?
Mom: No, Emma. Pick out a different snack.
Jack: (whispering) Whatever you do, Mom, don't say the F word.
Mom: What?! Jack?!
Jack: (leaning in to my ear) You know. Fruit snacks.

___

Happy Holidays, Everyone!

Jack Wins!!!

Recently Jack entered a calendar illustration contest through Jim's workplace, Frito-Lay. Each year children of employees of the company are invited to create a safety themed illustration and enter their drawing in a contest. 13 illustrations get chosen to be published on the poster. (12 months + cover)

Well, folks. Let me introduce you to Jack B. Hoodenpyle.... Mr. January!!!

His drawing has been selected for publishing, and as soon as it does get published, you'd better believe that I'll be scanning in a copy for your viewing pleasure. In the meantime, let me tell you the ADDITIONAL good news!!!

As a contest participant, Jack's name was thrown into a hat for the winning of an iPod nano.

Mr. January ANDDDDD nano winner?! Holy Moly!

He is super excited, and has already loaded five songs. You're curious about his songlist, aren't you? Jack's top five:

1. In My Arms (Plumb)

2. Free Like a Bird (Caspar Babypants)

3. You've Got a Friend in Me (Gypsy Kings, Spanish version from Toy Story 3 Soundtrack)

4. Fireflies (Owl City)

5. Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24 (Trans-Siberian Orchestra)

Somewhere my friend, Danavee, has a smug look on her face about that number five.

Congratulations, Jack! I can't wait to show everyone your safety poster! Great job!

Jack, According to Gingerbread Men

Which part of the gingerbread man do you eat first? The latest Dunkin' Donuts research survey says that your answer reveals much about you! Who knew?!

Which part does Jack eat first? The legs. He is not among the majority. (64 percent of cookie-eaters eat the head first.) According to the survey, that first leggy bite indicates that Jack tends to be more "sensitive, reveling in the company of others." Yep, that's my kid.

Gingerbread men = solid research

Happy Birthday, Emma!

So far, the most fun parts of being three are:

Sliding.

Sliding with friends.


Wearing out your brother.

Licking birthday cake icing.

And opening new treasures.

The trickiest part?

Showing people how old you are now. It's super hard.

Almost Three!

"Tracey, I just wanted to make you aware that I am having contractions that are fairly regular (5 minutes or so apart). They are NOT strong enough for squat yet, so don't send anyone to cover my classroom. I just wanted to let you know in case... Cross your fingers. Today is a good day!"

I just found this email, or the beginnings of this email, in my "Work in Progress" folder at school. It was never sent. And I guess I pretty much forgot about it shortly after its writing on November 30th, 2007. It was a Friday. Today, I rediscovered it and smiled a big smile. That Friday did turn out to be a good day. No, a GREAT day. My Emma was born!
In case you're wondering, I didn't make it through that workday. The contractions got significantly stronger in the stairwell minutes later. I called Jim. It was showtime.

These days, it's hard to believe that Emma will be three years old in just a couple of weeks. A sassy three years old. Here's what she's up to:

*She still doesn't eat. I don't know how she's grown to 30 pounds on little to no food, but she has. French fries with ketchup. Pizza. Ravioli. Orange juice. That's about it, folks.

*She is potty trained. She was a little harder to train than Jack because she clearly wanted to do it on her own schedule. She's always been a little more stubborn than Jack though. Her tiny, tiny, tiny Hello Kitty underwear is absolutely, and without a doubt, the thing I like best about "Laundry Time." No contest.

*She still loves her stuffed animal "friends". Woody, Minnie Mouse, Christmas Bear, Duck, Black Bear, Abby... The list of necessary bedmates in rotation goes on.

*She has a dramatic and somewhat catty imagination. She narrates her pretend play much more than Jack ever did. Her stuffed Minnie Mouse is always having conflict with so-and-so.
Stuffed Animal A: "Will you play with me?" Stuffed Minnie: "No! I don't like you!"
(Minnie is SUCH a you-know-what. Consequently, I'm a little nervous for the day Emma's "middle school years" arrive.)

*When her imagination is not overly catty, it's tragic. Another frequent pretend scenario involves stuffed animal A falling off a "cliff" (which is really just a couch, chair, or knee). Stuffed animal B has to "save" A. In the end, stuffed animal B always falls off the cliff too. See? Death, carnage, catastrophe.

*I've never met another kid who HATES wearing a coat more than she does. She refuses. Spaghetti arms. Tears. Falling on the ground. Crying. More floppy spaghetti arms. More crying. Whining. Oh. My. Gosh.

*She still loves to dance. She mostly dances like Seinfeld's Elaine with lots of herky-jerks. But she has added a new move in the last six months or so. It sometimes looks like weird flopping, or that "cartwheel" that people say is a cartwheel when they don't know how to do a cartwheel. The one where the hands touch the ground, but the feet never leave the ground either? Occasionally she throws in a spontaneous fit of rolling on the ground too. It could be that her new moves come from being in the room one too many times when I was watching the contemporary dance routines (my fave) on the most recent season of So You Think You Can Dance. I'm pretty sure that Mia would say Emma's movements are really "earthy" and "grounded." Definitely.

*She wants to wash herself, go to the potty by herself, walk through the grocery store by herself, etc. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T.

*She wants to carry on a lengthy conversation with every waiter or waitress that we encounter at a restaurant. She loves to order for herself but also wants to discuss her new shoes or the pretty butterflies of her shirt she's wearing that day. "Lady, I want to talk to you for just a minute." And then it begins...

*Jim and I both love when she consoles Jack when he's upset. "What's the matter, boy?" or "It's alright, buddy. It's okaaay." She uses her tender and concerned voice. And then she pats him. It is pretty perfect.

*She has wild hair. She hates it in her face, but she refuses to be logical and leave her barrette in or ponytail up. She goes to grandma's cute and put together, and she comes home like she's been riding in a convertible with the top down all day. I recently bought some headbands, thinking that could be a solution. Mimi even bought her a fancy one with bows and frilly flowers on it. In the picture below, you can see for yourself how this idea went over.

It did not.

*But just to keep you guessing, she prefers her toenails polished.

*She has an unnatural fear of bubble baths.

*She is particular about the way her socks feel. When the seam is not aligned with her toes in a way that is just so, she'll let you know that "somepin's wrong!"

*She demands a dollar from Grandpa before she'll give him a kiss goodbye.

*She (and Jack) are just what I always wanted. Happy birthday, little girl. Love you muchly.

"Happy" and "Crappy"

You're looking at "Best Costumes 2010". Oh yeah, you are.

Bus Painting

The kids and I pass quite a few school buses in traffic on the way to school each morning. I guess those school buses were the inspiration for the following car conversation:

Jack: Mom, when I get older I'm going to buy a bus and change the name on the side. It will say, "Jack's Lab" on the side.

Mom: Oh? For taking passengers to see your science labratory?

Jack: Yeah. For when people want to come see my inventions and stuff.

Mom: That's a good idea, Jack.

Jack: Yeah. But I don't think I want it yellow though. I think I'll paint the bus white. White seems science-y, and scientists wear those white coats. You know, Mom?

Emma: No, not white.

Jack: Sigh. What color then Emma? What color do you want?

Emma: Pink.

Jack: Okay, maybe I'll paint one pink.

Emma: No, not pink. Purple!

Jack: Sighhhh. Emma, now you need to pick a color. I can't be repainting my bus every time you change your mind. If you pick pink, you need to stick with it. If you pick purple, that's it.

Emma: Purple.

Emma again: With purple wheels.

Jack: I can't really paint the wheels, Emma.

Emma: No, red wheels.

Jack: EMMAAAA!

Feelin' Musical

Jack is learning to read music at school. Yesterday, I caught him using the iPad to draw sheet music just as his teacher had shown him. Check out the time signature, quarter rests, and even a repeat sign. (Sure, one measure has five beats, but hey.) He'll "sing" the rhythm to you, correctly, if you ask. Geez.

Not to be outdone, Emma immediately wanted to demonstrate her musical ability too.

Have you any "woof?" Yeah, me neither.

Finding the Costumes

We, adult Hoodenpyles, are invited to a Halloween party for the second year in a row.

After one accepts a Halloween party invitation, it is natural for the mind to jump right into, "What am I going to dress up as? Am I going to look like an idiot? Am I too old for this?" All of these are valid questions, and so it's worth a look on the internet to get some answers.

I dare you. Type in the google search words: "Halloween Costumes for Adults".

Glare.

If you do sit down and reenact my search, you'll find that 99.9 percent of your internet search results look like this:

Kill. Me. Now.

But hold on a minute... Jim is going to the party too. So one might alter the search: "Adult Couple's Halloween Costumes."

That's it. Search over. This is just stupid.

Kids' costumes are so much simpler to find on the internet. In fact, I ordered one just the other day. Jack wanted to be Optimus Prime from the Transformers. No problem. A quick google search yields several nice versions, and so it's ordered. Done. No disgust factor. No stupidness. No excessive boob shots.

Jack's costume arrived yesterday afternoon. We were excited to open the box! Optimus Prime! Optimus Prime! Optimus Pr...

Wait a minute... What is THIS?!!!

This is either a BIG shipping mistake, or someone is playing a really bad joke on me.

I really like you, Jack.

Stick It

Jack's latest persuasive argument centers around:

The lint roller.

Yes, the placement and storage of our family's lint roller(s) is on his mind. Nevermind thinking about useful things like: learning how to take a bath in less than an hour, keeping his room orderly, or not engaging his sister in knock-down-drag-out-I-want-to-choke-you fights. The lint roller, folks. It's apparently a pretty critical issue.

The lint roller can and should be stuck to the kitchen/garage doorway. For atleast two reasons (and more if repetition of the first two reasons counts as more reasons), it seems logical and handy. A) One never has to dig in a drawer. It's right there in your face. B) It's "meant" to be stuck to things. It's very sticky.

In closing, the lint roller "just should" be a fixture in the doorway. Duh.

Pumpkin Talk

Jack: "Mom, we need to make a jack-o-lantern!"

Emma: "NO! We need to make a Emma-o-lantern!"

Emma Sings

What Exactly Are You Trying To Say, Jack?

It's a What?

Jack brought home a handmade craft from school. I wasn't quite sure what it was. So I asked him.


I listened to his lengthy response. And then we decided we needed to make a movie about it. You'd better get some popcorn.

Jealousy

This is Jack's whiteboard drawing of a coral reef. You might correctly surmise that he has been learning about ocean life at school. Jim and I were really impressed with the detail of the drawing. We told Jack so with lots of enthusiasm. We told him so... in front of Emma.

I wanted to take a picture of the drawing.

See the hammerhead shark? The coral? The pufferfish, sea urchin, and blue whale? Pretty neat, Jack! Note: This was the final photograph I took.

But...

earlier shots went like this:

"Want to take a picture of me, Mom?"

"Mom, look at me."

"Mom."

"MOM."

"Do you see me, Mom?"

Fishing is Good

Fishing is good.

It's just me and nature.

A boy, like me, can get good and lost in his thoughts...


And possibly rope Grandpa into ridiculous purchases at the giftshop.

Untitled

There's a frog on our window. That's all I wanted to say.

Jack's "Space"

As promised, here is the reveal of Jack's Outer Space room. He is so very proud of it... and I am too!

Very grown-up and sophisticated. New big bed. Love the dark blue paint that makes it feel so warm.

Here are a few additions to Emma's room as well. The inspiration for the room, below.

To Compensate

To compensate for my previous pretty depressing post, I decided I needed to recommend a website that makes me giggle. Currently, tales of "Gary" and "Elaine" (who live in Pottery Barn catalog scenes, as seen below) are the only thing rescuing me from the scowls. Thanks to Amanda who passed this website on to a few of us via Facebook. Mom, in particular, you're going to love this. Click here.

Summer Results

At the close of summer, which... let's face it.... we've arrived.... you probably wanna know how the reaching of all my goals panned out. It's a fair question.

1. Create a household system = Fail. No system has revealed itself to me even though I feel like I've spent some real time on it. The house is still the messy house. How can one spend so much of the summertime cleaning and still be in this predicament? I hear you asking. The upstairs has generally stayed neat. But no one really spends any significant time up there, so.... I guess that means it's not even a true half-win. Gosh.

2. Decorate a few spots in the house = Pass. Emma's and Jack's rooms look amazing. Jack has his space room now... all we're waiting on is a big earth/moon poster, and it will be complete. I will post pictures of it when all the finishing touches are in place.

3. Go to the pool frequently = Pass... sort of? There was some delay in the achievement of this goal as we missed the official "neighborhood pool tag passing out" day and went without them for a little while. Although I wouldn't say we went to our pool often, we went to enough around-the-town-water-spots that I think we did okay.

4. Be healthier = Fail. Big time failure here. I am pretty much the most unhealthy person I know. I love sugar, and it doesn't even love me back.

5. Exercise more = Fail. Stop laughing at me.

6. Grow something and keep it alive = Fail. I did happen to grow some cute little flower sprouts early in the summer. Remember those? But uhh yeah... the sun cooked them.

Death in a cup.

Other than this, there was also a shortlived summer stint of trying to "grow" some tadpoles into frogs. I didn't kill them, but right when it was looking as if I could, we dumped them back into the river as a means of rescue.

So, to recap. My summer goals were approximately 33 percent achieved. As a teacher, I know that that ain't a great rate, people. Feelin' sorta pathetic.

Dramatization in the Sour Patch

We had a hunch, yes, that the first day of the annual Hoodenpyle garage sale would produce its fair share of funny stories. And as with all other years before, this one is not disappointing us so far. My Sour Patch candy would like to perform a reenactment of one memorable garage encounter.

Greeny will play the role of Me. Red will play the role of a pretty ballsy garage sale customer.



Red: "How much are those pots and pans out there?"

Greeny: "It's marked ten dollars for the whole big box of them."

Red: "Ten for the entire box, eh? Would you do five?"

Greeny: "Ummm... (thinking to herself, really? Come on now. Check out these fruity shenanigans going on here.) How about eight?"

Red: "Let's do six?"

Greeny: "(laughing but getting annoyed now, for sure) "Can you do seven?"

Red: "Six fifty."

Greeny: "Fine. Sure. Take 'em."

And then Greeny punched Red in the throat.

Happy Fourth 2010

Last night, we got to celebrate the fourth of July at grandma/pa's house with Aunt Vicki, my cousin, Mark Ryan, his wife, Brittany (just realized I'm not entirely sure of her name's spelling), and his son, Ryan (Jack and Emma's second cousin). Ryan is a year old and cute as a button. It was a fun holiday.

Jack had a great time with Mark Ryan, tagging along as official "fireworks co-picker-outter" during the day. Mark Ryan also bought him a Hershey bar - and that helps.

Emma had a great time too, although she spent her time either behind Daddy...

... or in a place she deemed equally safe and sound.

I had a great time, myself. See, I've just discovered the "fireworks setting" on my camera! (And no, Jim, I DON'T know what I'm gonna do with all these fireworks pictures, but considering how TOTALLY COOL they turned out, I think you should feel a'plenty silly for teasing me about taking them. Pssshaw.)

All together now... "Oooh!"

"Ahhhhh!"

"Wheeeeee!"

"Whoooa!"

And wild applause! Thanks for the show, Mark Ryan.