Batteries and a Glue Stick

I haven't seen a pairing this odd since the lunch lady at school gave me pizza and a side of mashed potatoes and gravy.

My Diary

My mom came up to visit the other day.  With her, she brought a treasure from long ago...

Oh yes!  This is what you think it could be.  Eight year old Whitney's DIARY.  I opened it up, thinking that this was going to be FUN, FUN, FUN to read.  During my reading, I was disappointed about a handful of things. 

First, I wrote sparingly with only occasional entries here and there.  I was a little on the hot and cold side when it came to recording my innermost thoughts.  Bummer.

Second, I seemed to think that my diary was a way to manipulate my mother (who was surely reading this, in my mind.) From the looks of things, I bet I even left the diary out... and open... to the exact page I wanted her to see... maybe on her pillow?  Geez.

Thirdly, I was kind of a melodramatic... brat?  "Never happy," my foot.  I want to smack this child.

(flipping through more pages)

But then?  Then it all turned out okay.  Because 8 year old Whitney made 34 year old Whitney laugh.

Little Whitneeeey.  You're so silly.

Assignment: "Emma, Tell a Story"

I don't often get blogging assignments, but I have decided they are pretty fun.  I once played a prank on Jack that resulted in an assignment issued by my mother that was one of my favorites... um... ever.  But today?  Today, I've been given a blogging assignment by my hilarious friend, Schlager.  And Schlager, I accept. 

I am to "make a video of Emma telling a story."  Okay.  Well, I tried really, really hard.  The end result below, you'll see, lacks most things characteristic of a story.  There's definitely no rising action, climax, or resolution.  The characters are only superficially described.  And does there have to be plot at all?  Hmm...  Well, there's no plot.

I may have failed in the challenge.  But here's my attempt anyway.  It turns out it's more like an Emma interview.  We'll work on the storytelling, Schlager.  She clearly has no concept of it, BUT...  at least she knows *what to do if a stranger tries to take her.

* "Mom, I'll just kick them and punch them in the neck."