I'm sorry, blog, for calling you a big, fat lump of blah in the following entry.
It's 2 am now. Do you write it "2 am" or is it "2 a.m."? I've seen it both ways. 2 am seems so much prettier. More streamlined and efficient. And if 2 a.m. is correct technically, then how do you handle it if 2 a.m. comes at the end of a sentence? Are there TWO periods? I woke and could not go back to sleep at 2 a.m.. (That can't be right.) 2 a.m. is difficult to type and, if you ask me, it just looks awkward. It's cumbersome. Maybe it's only cumbersome in the middle of the night. If it were 2 pm (2 p.m. ?) and I weren't so incredibly tired, I probably would be thinking about something so much more weighty on my Questions I Wonder About list. Certainly not rules of English abbreviation.
Regardless of the grammatical answers I'm fishing for above, it's the middle of the night. I should be sleeping. Instead, I'm here with you, blog, you big, fat lump of blah. (There it was. Please note my apology.)
My mom says you've gone "stale." I don't think she meant this as a compliment. I'm clarifying because some people actually LIKE their chips, bread, or pretzels a little stale. My aunt leaves the pretzel bag open on purpose for that very reason. Softer, floppier pretzel twists = better. But here in this context, blog... let's clarify. Stale is kind of an insult. I'm sorry about not writing much lately. If we look over at the righthand sidebar, yes, we can agree that the number of entries per month demonstrates a clear trend of steadily declining frequency in posts. What's with that?
I don't know. I just don't have much to say. I don't feel creative even in the tiniest bit. I'm a little bit bored with you, I guess. I want to sit on the couch with Jim. I want to watch "So You Think You Can Dance." I want to play on the new backyard swingset with Emma and Jack. I even want to fold some clothes. (gasp) January - 9 entries. April - 7. June - 5. August - a puny 2. Sorry about that.
Don't fret though. I'll come back around if I know me. You'll probably hear from me in the middle of the night when Jim's away and I can't sleep, or something. Maybe Emma will have just pooped her pants and started screaming about it, solidly reaffirming the case of insomnia your author already had tonight, minus her Jim. And then, after washing the incidental poop off of her hand, your author will return to bed and just... lay there. The mp3 player won't work. Facebook won't make her sleepy. An hour of this will pass. And then... THEN she'll resort to thinking about grammar.
I bet you'll get some love then, you big, fat lump of blah.
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These are the entries I love the most. My Whitney, with random thoughts, fun analogies, and promises of new blog entries. Gosh, I miss them.
ReplyDeleteWait, I know! Let's have a Sneak Attack Toast Throwing Day. Think last year's Sneak Attack Picture Day, but with balloon costumes and toast throwing.
That would give you something to write about, for SURE.
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing. Thanks for humoring me and my crazy dreams. The balloon costume was remarkably similar to the Fruit of the Loom guy who looks like grapes. And the toast, when it hit you, made crumbs go all over your clothes. It was most irritating.
ReplyDeleteWhitney, you are definitely 'my lobster'! I too spent the witching hours awake last night. Although I did managed to dodge incidental poopings, I had to survive a close encounter with Pepe le Pew and his mate. And while you were insulting your poor, neglected blog, I too was up by the light of a new millennium electronic device. Soduku and Bejewled were my time passers of choice at 1 am and 2 a.m.. (Yeah, that can't be right.)
ReplyDeleteNo problem! Two words: lint roller.
ReplyDeleteAhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . . .
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm the rebel here. The one to oppose the dispute about am versus a.m. See, I read the first sentence three times. First time, I thought, is it a typo? This sentence makes no sense. I read it like "I am..." Then I thought, Oh, she's writing from Emma's perspective. "It's 2 am now." That might make this cute. But then I remembered Emma's not 2. One more time and I gave up. I prefer a.m.. See. I don't mind the two periods. I've used them before in multiple writings. And one more thing. Poop is funny. Not so funny in the middle of the night. But funny in the morning.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this blog a great deal and although you might not write as often, I still find your blog entries quite entertaining.
ReplyDelete