In Trouble

Surely everyone has a memory of being in trouble as a child. Not just the "didn't finish all of my peas" or "oops, I forgot my homework" kind of trouble... I mean, in SERIOUS TROUBLE. Sick at your stomach, tail between your legs, can't bear to look at the adult who's disappointed in you, cheeks on fire, TROUBLE-TROUBLE.

I know I had a handful of moments like these as a child. I can still TASTE the sensation of embarrassment that I felt when my seventh grade English teacher once stopped abruptly mid-teaching, stood up, pointed at the door, and yelled in the loudest voice I'd ever heard out of the quiet and proper woman's mouth, "Whitney JONES! Shut UP or get OUT of my classroom.... NOW" in front of all of my peers. I can still remember how I had been whispering and entertaining my tablemates with the latest in Whitney-facial-contortions just seconds earlier... a regular comedy routine that was always guaranteed to provoke desperate and uncontrollable laughter from my friends (as well as myself) at times we were not supposed to be laughing. I deserved this moment. I deserved the follow-up, after hours conversation in which she and my mother discussed the inappropriate and clownish behavior that had occurred during her English class. I knew I was in trouble with Mrs. White, and I didn't get over it quickly. I'm certain that my eyes never met hers again for the remainder of the school year, in fact. The moment is permanently etched in me.

I wonder if we all have such a memory. I bet we do. I wonder if one of Jack's memories was formed just today, in fact. Let's ask him (in twenty years) if he remembers the story I'm about to record. Jack is IN TROUBLE tonight. TROUBLE-TROUBLE.

Lately, Jack has thought up a game that he finds cute and hilarious. If this game had a title, it would be called "Remove the Car Key From the Ignition and Hide It When Mom Is Not Looking." This game has been played by Jack a total of three times, and this game has ALWAYS been played while the car is still at home, not having yet left the garage. The best time for play has historically been when his mother belts the kids in the car, realizes she's forgotten something in the house, and goes back inside, leaving him and his sister in the car for the briefest of moments. It's a perfect opportunity for play. Jack's mom doesn't like this game, but she hasn't fussed a great deal because Jack has always been barely able to contain his laughter as soon as she reappears, ready to drive the car. He reliably delivers the key within seconds, bursting with giggles. It even made his Mom laugh the first time he decided to play it, and if that's true, then this MUST be a clever game worth repeating. This game surely was the best and funniest idea Jack's ever had! It clearly requires a taking to the next level.

The next level:

Today at the gas station, I return to the driver seat after having filled my tank with gas. I put my foot on the brake and reach for the key. Hmphf.... the key is not there. I turn to Jack with an exasperated sigh. "Wheeere's the key, Jack?" Jack, who was in the middle of fiddling with Emma, stops fiddling with Emma, and looks at me... stricken and frozen in place.

He immediately starts bawling when it registers with him that I'm now DEMANDING the key, forcefully, and he is unable to produce it. He doesn't know where the key is. He thinks he took it out of the ignition. He thinks he had it in his hand at some point. He thinks he put it in my purse. No, wait, he thinks he may have dropped it somewhere. He may have dropped it somewhere inside the car, but he may have even dropped out the window. I feel the anger rising as I recall that the windows have been UP the entire duration of my gas-pumping. "JAAAACK. THINK HARD. WHERE DID YOU PUT THE CAR KEY?"

After a few more minutes of searching and interrogating, Jack's memory has actually WORSENED under stress. As vague as his ideas were to begin with, he now has progressed to complete and total memory-dump. Did he touch the key, or didn't he? He can't be sure. Either way, He is IN TROUBLE. No, actually Jack is in SEVERE trouble. We have searched every obvious spot of the car. We have caused Emma to join in with Jack's stressed sobbing. And better than that... we are stranded.

Fifteen minutes later, we are still searching the car. One searcher is EXTREMELY ANGRY. One searcher is still in trouble. All searchers (six and under) are crying.

A few hours have passed now since "Remove the Key..." was played today. We were able to drive the car home, I'll say. What ever happened with the hidden key, you want to know? Well, it was not in my purse. It was not thrown out the window. It was discovered, actually, wedged deep in the space between the console and the passenger seat. "Remove the Key..." is now a FORBIDDEN game to all Hoodenpyles. Jack is in trouble. He is so very, very sorry. Jack voluntarily promises NEVER to play this unfunny, not cute game ever again. He is quiet and solemn tonight. Each of his footsteps have been careful and quiet through the house. He has made a lasting memory, I believe. I know the feeling. His stupid key-hiding is my stupid face-making behind a teacher's back.

I love you, poor boy. I wonder if you'll be able to tell me this story years from now. We'll see. Chuckling.