What's Wrong, Chair?

I have been noticing that my chair is a little down lately. It's feeling blue. I asked it why this morning. We are not on speaking terms today, apparently.

Let's think of reasons that Whitney's chair could be resentful:

*We've been together for ten years, and I've never even given it a greeting card.
*It has supported the carriage of two babies without even a "thank you."
*It is offended when Whitney doesn't actively protect it from children who abuse its fun roll-y or spinny action.
*It's heard the same chapter books year after year. Whitney's favorites always end the same way.
*It's jealous of its neighbor, the computer chair.


For the record, I'm trying to make amends with my chair. I've apologized. I've paid it special, tinkering attention - tightening knobs and yanking levers. No effect. It's still being hateful and slouchy. I don't think it's aware that hateful and slouchy chairs get replaced. Ahem...REPLACED! Did you hear me, chair?


Sigh. The silent treatment continues.