Happy Birthday, Sweet Girl

I can remember a time before my children were born. Although I had not met them yet, I can remember twice dreaming of them in short, but very specific glimpses. I would wake with a feeling of achy familiarity, wanting so badly to go back to where I was in just that moment before.

With Jack, it was a dream where I stood looking in the mirror at myself as I held him against my chest, a blonde headed sleepy infant. I stood looking as I swayed back and forth from side to side, rocking the way mothers sometimes subconsciously do. His head was laying against my shoulder, and my left hand was on his hair. It was a strange sensation to wake up not knowing his name.

With Emma, some years later, I dreamt of her as well. She was not an infant, but an adult. And the only thing I saw of her was the hem of her wedding dress as I was kneeling down to straighten it. I woke up, having only one child at that time, but inexplicably aware of the feeling of her, a second.

And we would try for Emma for almost two years. We waited and waited, experiencing frustration and disappointment at so many months of failure. Where was this child?

But then a new morning came, and I can remember standing alone in the bathroom, quietly saying aloud to God, "I'm ready." It was the simplest of prayers.

And then she would come. It was just like that. God's kind, "Yes."

Happy birthday to my sweet girl. She is truly a blessing.