What do idioms and spiders have to do with each other? Are you buffaloed?
Actually they have very little to do with each other. But imagine that it's 9:25 a.m. on a Friday and you're teaching your students about idioms when the BIGGEST spider you've ever seen (that's not a tarantula) walks across your classroom tile. Idioms and spiders will forever be connected in your mind from then on, I bet. And if that were the case, you'd feel compelled to relay the story with lots and lots (and lots) of idioms to paint the perfect picture. Yeah, you'd pack them in like sardines.
On with the story... I hate spiders. The only way that I could hate them more is if they somehow were able to magically sprout wings, learn to fly, and buzz around my face. They are the bee in my bonnet. I DON'T think they're the cat's pajamas. And the fact that a huge and hairy spider is sitting and staring at me as I write this ... well, that kinda bugs me.
My students and I were about to check the answer to question number 9 on an idiom page when my little Haven calmly says, "Mrs. Hoodenpyle, there's a spider."
She pointed, and we looked. That's when the chaos ensued. The whole place went to the dogs. Gasping. Shrieking. Pushing. Shoving. Screaming. And it wasn't just the kids.
This was a situation in which, ordinarily, I might just squish a spider. But not this one. This particular situation does NOT call for a squish. One shudders to imagine the crunch or the feel of juicy crumpling beneath the shoe. The only choice was to catch the spider. And it would be me that would have to bell the cat.
This was a situation in which, ordinarily, I might just squish a spider. But not this one. This particular situation does NOT call for a squish. One shudders to imagine the crunch or the feel of juicy crumpling beneath the shoe. The only choice was to catch the spider. And it would be me that would have to bell the cat.
All 24 of us made a beeline for the thing as it was bumbling across the tile. A large mass of squealing bodies formed a perimeter around the creature, and the spider reared up. This sent us further into our frenzied screaming.
"Quick! Get into the cabinet and get me a vase!" This was my brilliant plan. The obedient children did so, and we covered the spider with the tall cylindrical glass. Unfortunately, this was just shoeing the goose. The spider was too large and clumsy to climb up the sides.
Next, I was presented with an emptied tennis ball container. The advantage to this was that it featured a plastic lid.... a perfect container for containing. This was Justin's plan, and he clearly understood the basic flaw of the vase plan. He knew that a cat in gloves catches no mice. Good job, Justin. My little Josh cooperatively slid a paper under the lip as I tilted. Carefully. Carefullllllly.
And now it sits. The kids have watched it like a hawk for most of the day. The latest question is, "Can we keep it for a class pet?"
My reply: "When pigs fly!"
You are one smart cookie to have gotten the vase. Knowing that little critters tend to scare the pants off you, I'm very proud that you were able to put on such a brave face and capture the little guy without harm. You might be in line for a Silver Star!
ReplyDeleteSo, what was his ultimate fate? Did he have to walk the plank? Is he sleeping with the fishes? Free as a bird? I'm as curious as a cat!
(Wait, wait, wait.... the little guy? Have you SEEN that spider? He reared, Jim! He reared!!!!!)
ReplyDeleteSetting him free on my way out the door. And even though I'm doing this, I STILL hate spiders.
A leopard can't change its spots.
That picture paints a thousand words. Spiders are the worst creature ever invented. I can't imagine the horror of finding that in my classroom. I'm sure it wasn't a piece of cake trying to capture it, but they are mostly all bark and no bite. Speaking of barking, you woulda been barking up the wrong tree if you had asked me to save it for you. But let's get down to brass tacks, I would have enlisted a student to give it the slip. Make no bones about it, squishing would be the best policy. As long as it's not my foot.
ReplyDelete