Bette Davis Eyes

So, yesterday we were listening to the 80's station while driving in the car, running errands.  Kim Carnes comes on singing her  Bette Davis Eyes. 

Jack listened for a bit and finally let out a huge sigh of disgust, asking...
"MOM, WHY WOULD ANYONE SING A SONG WITH NOT SUCH A GOOD VOICE?"

That was the best part of my Tuesday, people.

Summer Fun Has Just Begun!

Summer is in full swing!  And we've been gettin' our fun on.  I love summer.  Being an elementary teacher sure has its perks... and summer, you are the biggest one of all.  Here's what we've been up to lately.

1.  Last year, my big projects were Jack and Emma's bedrooms.  This year, it's all about me, folks.  I want a beautiful bedroom too.  Be gone, ugly tattered bedspreads.  Be gone, laundry piles in the bedroom floor.  Be gone, permanent ironing board set up that I never put away.  Be gone, ugly, ugly place.  Hello, dreaminess.  To start with, I dabbled in the art of antique shopping with my ultimate antique expert of a gal pal, Danavee. 
We found some great things...

 A beautiful trunk for the foot of the bed.  Check out the inside color!  I love.

 A hodge podge of mirrors/ and an old shabby window for over my dresser.  See that black mirror?  Spray paint is a girl's best friend, it turns out.  Just wait and see...  Thanks for the expertise, Schlager!

TURQUOISE!  Yes.  Yes.  And yes!

                         A new duvet cover.  I love the colors.

                                       A collection of my favorite photos.

See that rose?  That's the first flower I ever received from a boy.  A sixteen year old boy... named Jim.  Pretty special.  My bedroom is officially BEAUTIFUL.

2.  Playing outside has been fun, particularly if a water balloon fight is involved...

                                       Ammunition?  Check.

Competitive stance? Check, sort of.  Emma looks a little unprepared.

Action?  CHECK!

3.  Beautifying the rest of the house in preparation to host a fun and festive bachelorette party/personal shower for a Mrs. Ashley soon-to-be-Boschen! 

 New front porch plants!

 Incidentally, Jack grew this one from seeds.  He knows something I don't.  Hmphf.

 New rug for beneath the office chairs!

And another great antiquing find with Danavee!  A pair of shabby farmhouse-y windows for over the kitchen mantel.  I love them.  So much. 

4.  Other great things not pictured because, like an idiot, I didn't bring out my camera for them: 

Backyard pooltime at great-grandma and pa's  and a quick visit to see mom down in Arkansas. 

I love me some summer!  Yahoo!!!!

Batteries and a Glue Stick

I haven't seen a pairing this odd since the lunch lady at school gave me pizza and a side of mashed potatoes and gravy.

My Diary

My mom came up to visit the other day.  With her, she brought a treasure from long ago...

Oh yes!  This is what you think it could be.  Eight year old Whitney's DIARY.  I opened it up, thinking that this was going to be FUN, FUN, FUN to read.  During my reading, I was disappointed about a handful of things. 

First, I wrote sparingly with only occasional entries here and there.  I was a little on the hot and cold side when it came to recording my innermost thoughts.  Bummer.

Second, I seemed to think that my diary was a way to manipulate my mother (who was surely reading this, in my mind.) From the looks of things, I bet I even left the diary out... and open... to the exact page I wanted her to see... maybe on her pillow?  Geez.

Thirdly, I was kind of a melodramatic... brat?  "Never happy," my foot.  I want to smack this child.

(flipping through more pages)

But then?  Then it all turned out okay.  Because 8 year old Whitney made 34 year old Whitney laugh.

Little Whitneeeey.  You're so silly.

Assignment: "Emma, Tell a Story"

I don't often get blogging assignments, but I have decided they are pretty fun.  I once played a prank on Jack that resulted in an assignment issued by my mother that was one of my favorites... um... ever.  But today?  Today, I've been given a blogging assignment by my hilarious friend, Schlager.  And Schlager, I accept. 

I am to "make a video of Emma telling a story."  Okay.  Well, I tried really, really hard.  The end result below, you'll see, lacks most things characteristic of a story.  There's definitely no rising action, climax, or resolution.  The characters are only superficially described.  And does there have to be plot at all?  Hmm...  Well, there's no plot.

I may have failed in the challenge.  But here's my attempt anyway.  It turns out it's more like an Emma interview.  We'll work on the storytelling, Schlager.  She clearly has no concept of it, BUT...  at least she knows *what to do if a stranger tries to take her.

* "Mom, I'll just kick them and punch them in the neck."

I hate them, Fo Shizzle!

My classroom full of fourth grade angels sees toy fads come and go over the course of a year.  Really, over the past 12 years, I have become quite the expert in what's popular and fashionable on the pre-teen toy scene.  Need a Christmas present and want to know what's cool?  Ask a teacher.  "Uncanny and pretty phenomenal toy awareness" is a  ridiculous thing to put on my resume, but nonetheless.... expertise is expertise.  Let's break it down and see what toys have caused a frenzy over the course of just one school year.  That, alone, is something. 

Before we begin the toy parade, let me just say that all of these toys crazes begin with ONE single, solitary student discreetly bringing out a strange new thingamabob from his/her backpack, placing it on his/her desk, and fiddling.  Fiddling, fiddling, and more fiddling.  If he/she calls it by a human name while fiddling, it only feeds the hysteria.  I could almost do a wild-animal style documentary about it.  The documentary would have narration.  With an Australian accent.   

Here are a few items that have caused a frenzy just this year...  and have also made me want to strangle myself with a shoestring, at some point.

Beyblades

Beyblades.  I don't know what's so great about them.  Beyblades are just spinning tops, honestly.  The red thing is an arena where you use a rip cord to spin and drop your top (I mean, Beyblade).  The beyblades "battle".  Battle = spin around and bump into each other, causing loss of speed.  If your Beyblade spins the longest, congratulations.  You have just acquired honor and prestige among your peers.  You will marry well.

Silly Bandz (Justin Bieber shaped ones... to be extra fancy)

Despite the appearance of the picture above, Silly Bandz are no bigger than the palm of your hand.  They are actually bracelets.  Bracelets in in the form of shapes, notice.  Silly Bandz enjoyed a relatively short stint of fame in my room, but ohhh the fame was intense!  Girls and boys, alike, drooled over Silly Bandz.  The trading was constant.  And if you were really lucky, your arm from wrist to elbow could be filled with them.  It was also a neat trick to wrapped them so tight that your bloodflow was impeded.  Fun!

Orbeez. 

Orbeez.  Hmm... I'm starting to notice that any toy that takes an s ending and changes it to a z for coolness factor is bad news.  Orbeez, thanks to all that is good, did not last especially long in my classroom.  Let me copy and paste the official commercial description for you fine folks.

"...are wet and wacky, soft and squishy, fun and funky, bouncy and beautiful. They start off hard and tiny. Add water and watch them grow to 100 times ..."

Oh yeah.  You don't even need to hear more.  Orbeez were a bad idea, toy distributors.  Why do you hate me so?

Squinkies

Squinkies are a current sensation here in my room.  They are tiny, tiny, tiny little creatures that live in clear plastic encasements the size of marbles.  When a child talks about his/her beloved Squinkies, his/her voice automatically raises an octave or two.  When Squinkies fall on the floor (and they fall often) they roll very, very far, causing a spreading wave of distraction from the math lesson that is trying to be conducted at that moment.  Yahoo for Squinkies!

Shizzle! Magnetic Rocks

And now, I'd like to tell you about what arrived today!  I'm so excited.  Shizzle!  Magnetic rocks.  These are especially cool because when you toss them into the air together, the magnetism causes them to spin around and knock against each other.  The sound is like none I can replicate.  But it's loud.  It's buzzy.  And it's in just the right frequency to make you crave... YEARN... to hear nails on a chalkboard instead.  Yep, I hate them.  Fo shizzle.

Think back to your childhood, everyone.  Do you remember all the silly things you brought to school?  I brought those chainlink plastic necklaces with an insane amount of charms that hung from them.  I brought pogo balls.  I brought My Little Ponies.  I brought jelly bracelets and Swatch watches with the protective rubber band cover that matched my every outfit.  Yeah, I brought my fair share, I guess.  Twenty some years later, I'd like to formally apologize to all of my elementary school teachers.  I'm so very, very sorry.  :)

Fish

Let's talk about all-things-fish today.
1. Jack wrote a cute paragraph about Blue the other day at school. I will post the illustration. It's impressive for an eight year old. It's impressive for any age, actually. Check it out.

(writin' about fish)

2.  It has been raining here for days.  And days.  And days.  Gloomy and gray.  Low, quiet thunder that goes on for minutes at a time.  Chill and wind.  A constant soaking from the sky that's unlike any I can remember.  We had a brief reprieve here yesterday, but I think it's supposed to start raining again any minute.  Another 1-3 inches is expected, and last night I heard the weather guy say that in some spots, there has already been 16 inches of total rainfall.  Stop the madness.

(Yes, of course, this relates to fish.  We all may grow gills soon, we're so waterlogged.)

3.  I am feeling super fat.  Last night the treadmill finally got some action from me.  That is great!  Today, however, I think the Krispy Kreme doughnut for a student's birthday and the piece of cake I had at an after school wedding shower totally negated last night's treadmill action.

(Yes, of course, this also relates to fish.  I'm avoiding all nearby scales.)

4.  Last night we had Chinese food for dinner.  I opened my fortune cookie only to read, "You may need to clean out your closet soon."  (Shove it, cookie.  What a total rip off for a fortune.)  Jim opened his cookie and read, "You will soon meet the person of your dreams."  (Shove it, as well, cookie #2.) 

(This totally relates to fish.  The fortune cookie thing was surely a conspiracy.  I think Jim peeked or something before we opened them.  It seems fishy.)


5.  I have gotten stuck twice this week, so far, at same local railroad crossing on my way to/from work.  The trains have been slow, neverending, and generally pretty inconsiderate of all the places I have needed to be right at those moments.  Also,  as I type this... it has started to rain.

(Again, you see the fish relation, don't you?  Number five's items generally stink.  Like fish.)